How do you successfully make contact on dating sites?

Why do you get few or no replies to your messages? What do you need to do to drastically increase your response rate? Here are some valuable tips!

You have registered on a dating site, filled out your profile and are looking forward to meeting interesting singles. However, you have not received any replies to your messages to date...

We can help! We will be happy to give you a few tips to ensure that your next messages are not a failure.

Personalised approach creates trust

If you have found an interesting profile, you should try to build up trust with the other user.

  • Avoid generic phrases like "Hello" or "How are you?". Instead, take the time to read the person's profile and write a message that responds to their interests or information in their profile. 
  • Introduce yourself so that the other single gets a first impression of you.

Show serious interest

  • Ask open questions that encourage the other person to tell you more about themselves. Questions such as "What are your favourite hobbies?" or "What do you like about your job?" can deepen the conversation. 
  • Show interest in the answers and ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation going.

Emphasise what you have in common

  • If you share common interests or views on life, emphasise these. Similarities create a connection and can be a good conversation starter. 

Avoid clichés and standard messages

  • Avoid clichés such as "You're pretty" or "You seem nice", as these messages are often perceived as uninspired. 
  • Invest time and effort to write a creative and personalised message. 

Be patient and respect the other person's pace

  • Understand that not everyone can or wants to answer immediately. Give the other person time and space to respond without exerting pressure. 
  • Respect the decision of others, even if they are not interested. Courtesy and respect are important. 

Use appropriate spelling and grammar

  • Pay attention to spelling and grammar to make a positive impression. Messages with lots of mistakes can come across as careless. 

Be positive!

  • Negativity won't get you anywhere in life. If you want to successfully master your everyday life, you need a positive attitude. This also applies to online dating. Focus on what you really want to find and it will automatically come to you. 

Petra Frömsdorf
Petra Frömsdorf
Petra has been monitoring the world of online dating sites since 2003. In the media she is considered the leading expert on the topic of "online dating".